You find yourself trying to read slower to drag it out. As much as you want to know how it ends, you also don't want for it to be over. So you savor each sentence and brace yourself. Then sometimes, even though it appeared you still had 20 pages, there were really only 8 left in the actual story. The book ends abruptly and you're left turning page after page hoping for an epilogue at least.
This is the best way for me to describe my current state of mind. I feel as though I'm trying to slow my life down. I want to move on to our next adventure in Alaska, but I don't want for our time on Cape Cod to end. I'm trying to savor each moment. Each bit of laughter exchanged with friends. Each mile I'm able to run and enjoy here. I'm trying to take it all in and commit these feelings and moments to memory.
Whereas Missouri is where I am from, where my family is, and is where I will always call "home"..... this place has become my home. I have a life here that I never expected or imagined. I feel that I've changed a great deal in the last few years. I've met some of the most wonderful people a person could dream of. I've met strangers that have become friends, and that are now family. I've met people that have inspired me, changed me, and believed in me in ways I didn't/don't feel worthy. Due to their confidence in me, it has made me strive for goals that I never would have previously. I've also been exceptionally blessed to have so many of my older friendships continue to flourish. They have been instrumental in my life and encouraging me to continually make positive changes and choices.
I have to remind myself that all these people, experiences, and changes that I am so thankful for, may have never come to pass if we never moved to begin with. I'm sure I'd still lead an equally awesome life but if I had never moved, I never would have met my best friends Janell and Jamie. I never would have spent countless days lounging around various beaches, being awestruck by the vastness of this world. I wouldn't have been able to have friends from back home come visit and explore my new cities with me. I wouldn't have been a part of a community theater group in North Carolina and met some of the coolest, most creative people ever. I wouldn't have danced on rooftops of buildings during a tropical storm and felt absolute freedom. I wouldn't have driven thousands of miles and through dozens of states enjoying the countryside. I may not have ever discovered my love of mountain biking. I may not have (GASP) ever given a thought to running. I wouldn't have started this blog. Therefore, there are many, many of you that I would unfortunately never even know of. What a shame that would be. I wouldn't have been able to visit all the numerous historical sites; walked the lands, touched the bricks, viewed the glory of it with my own eyes. I wouldn't have eaten a Philly Cheesesteak at 2am while wondering past the Liberty Bell. I wouldn't have eaten an entire New York cheesecake in NYC (Oh yea, that happened. A shameful and yet impressive occasion). I may have even went on living my life continuing to hate sushi. Seriously, that is no way to live.
So as the end of my Cape Cod book draws to a close, I will relish each moment. It's difficult to not worry about what the future holds. I can only wish and pray that more wonderful people and experiences await me elsewhere. I hope that a few years from now I'm looking back and giving thanks for all my Alaska friends and adventures.